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    January 01

    在冬天开花的树

    时间过去那一秒,其实什么都没有改变,就像我所经历的那23个新年一样,一切照旧,什么都没有改变。

    我站在人声鼎沸的路口,和辞旧迎新的狂喜格格不入,但是,却在冬天,开出了绚丽的花朵。

    当天使转身离去的那一瞬间,我的左眼留下眼泪,寒风瞬间将我冻僵了,但那颗泪仍然慢慢的滑落,结晶出了美丽的花。

    我感到了生命的无助。

    但这无助仍然值得期待,能够为你去做那每个人都认为错的事情,成为了我最后的坚持,就像圣经上说的,通向天国的路是窄门,要走那窄门,不要走那喧嚣的大道。你是我的窄门,是唯一的期望。

    我的喉咙沙哑了,但仍持续的迸出连绵的话语,建出也许连接不到你的路,却是自我救赎的小径,当你成为终极的意义,没有什么是不值得的。

    并非不会寂寞难耐,也并非不会有肉欲拷问,但只要信,就有压倒性的力量,让我独善其身。

    我爱死了现在我的状态,如同我爱这诺大的城市深夜的安宁,街灯一盏接着一盏,是我不会完结的思念。

    我是在冬天开花的树,开出了苦涩的花朵,却是真实和美丽的,我承认,有一点病态吧。

    时间还在把我往后甩,这旅程太长,没有对的,也没有错的,我已经默认了过程的疼痛,默认了结局的无奈。这生命的旅程,没有来的,只有去的,就让他们把我甩在身后吧。

    2008,有了完美的谢幕,为我开启了新的陈旧的大门,延续了我的苦楚,也是唯一的意义。

    在恒久忍耐着你们的甜蜜与温存,守卫着嫉妒的堤坝;这个在绝望中为你保守期待,强颜欢笑的男人,可能,真的不值得你相守,也不值得你的原谅。但是他为你所做的一切,值得你去,为他留存一丝温暖。

    这温暖,让他在寒冷的冬天。

    为你怒放如夏。

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    Helen 。wrote:
    喜欢你真性情的时候。2009,会是个好年。
    Jan. 23

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